39 Trips Around The Sun

39 Trips around the sun they say. 

Turning 39 is something that many of us will do yet I'm not sure on how I'm supposed to feel. It is the last of my thirties and in one more year I will be turning forty. I feel like I'm in decent health given what I've been through these past few years.

I find that I value close friendship and time spent with those close to me.  Those close to me hold a special place in my life, and are very valuable to me at this point in my life. I however feel that the few that I spend quality time with grows slim.

I find those that are very close to me seam to dwindle in numbers, as those who know me on a close level are few. I try and expand that number but it's often taken for granted.

I find myself more alone more othern then not, yet expecting nothing from others.

I watch the snow fall on my birthday today and find myself deep in thought. Have I done everything I wanted at this point in my life? Would my eight year old self be laughing in happiness if they saw me? 

I'm here to admit that even though I'm not perfect I'd say I'm doing ok for what it is. I think my eight year old self would be proud of me and smiling knowing some of the things I have done, and accomplished. 

I hope to build closer and stronger friendships this next year, yet really expect nothing. I know that sounds forward, maybe even dark, but really I think that if you expect nothing you just might get a better chance of a surprise. I also think with expecting nothing you don't get your hopes up. So thirty-nine, here I am. 

Cheers!

Will